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Humor, Motherhood

Wanted: Friendship

Married, thirty-something mother of three seeks friends. Continue reading Wanted: Friendship

Melissa KutscheNovember 25, 2022November 25, 2022Leave a comment

I’m Melissa–writer, mama, bookworm, and spontaneous dancer. I share words about motherhood, books, life as a military spouse, and other sacred/ordinary things.

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My kid gets me.

Remember that pithy modern proverb: “You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince?” When I heard it as a young person, I thought, “Um, no. No, I do not. Ew, ew, ew,” regarding the frogs, or in my case, seventh grade boys. That same response–ew, ew, ew–coursed through my mind at my friend Angie’s birthday party when everyone decided we should play spin-the-bottle. The 13-year-old party-goers trekked out to a backyard trampoline and sat in a circle, but I stood in the grass, watching the circle close as more kids climbed up and filled in the gaps.

A Monday #goodlist: everyone back to school after our COVID-cation last week / fresh powdery snow sparkling in the yard / puzzles with the toddler / finishing a book during nap time / fixing the dishwasher / hot cocoa after school / leftovers for dinner / puppy snuggles on the couch / sun peeking through the clouds

Maybe next year.

In her new book, Screaming on the Inside: The Unsustainability of American Motherhood, author Jessica Grose writes about modern motherhood across the areas of pregnancy, identity, work, social media, and the pandemic. She also includes sections about history and how we can go about making positive change as we move forward. I felt seen as I read the book, but not much felt new or revelatory. While it's nice to commiserate and feel less alone, the book left me wanting more. I appreciated the way Grose rooted everything in data and supported it with personal anecdotes and/or interviews with American mothers. The book is journalistic with bits of memoir and humor woven throughout; Grose's skills as a researcher and writer shine. I do wish that this book had culminated in more concrete ideas for change, perhaps looking to other countries beyond comparing data points. The individual stories offered in the last chapter are nice, feel-good examples but do little for the average American mother who reads this, nods vigorously, and then thinks, "Now what?"

Last year started out with a bang (or perhaps that was the sound of my front driver's side tire hitting the curb in the Starbuck's parking lot, which I thought was no big deal, which caused my tire to slowly leak during my hour-long FaceTime call with my mom, which caused me to be stranded when the call was over)! So from January I will keep the name Devin, the stranger who stopped to help me put the spare tire on my van and get me safely on my way home, the stranger I could've hugged but did not.

“Celebrating anything special tonight?” the waitress asks.

Just over 30 years ago, my dad took me to see “Annie” at the Fisher theatre in downtown Detroit. At seven years old, I must have sat with my feet dangling below me, my eyes as bright and round as moons as I leaned to see around the adult head in front of me. I wasn’t only charmed by sweet Annie and her optimism—I fell in love. I saw kids like me doing all the things I loved, too. At intermission, I pored over their biographies in my program, imagining the roles I might list in my own biography some day.

Noor and Salahudin have been friends for as long as they can remember, but their friendship is tested by The Fight, the declining health of Misbah (Salahudin's mother), and the hidden things that haunt them. Friendship, family, faith, and forgiveness are all at the forefront of this beautiful YA contemporary novel, told through multiple perspectives across generations. Tahir writes about difficult content, including addiction and abuse, but her words hold it all with the utmost care. I felt the full spectrum of emotions reading this heart-wrenching story, and the way Tahir creates tension made it hard to put down.

© 2019-2022 Melissa Kutsche. All rights reserved.

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